People

Details: Written by: Rod Boyle; Category: People; Published: 29 November 2017; Hits: 1429

An enigma wrapped up in a riddle, no real name, a series of real events (death of son), as well as a series of what are most probably - certainly - fictional events, constant in the retelling, he's written down the lyrics of the love song that Mother Theresa wrote for him "I LOVE YOU ***** *****, I LOVE YOU..."...and I have the inspiration, the documentary, for sure, he's too entertaining to be kept here, but - maybe - a Broadway styled musical, the children of Calcutta singing "We love you *****" to him as he and Mother Theresa deliver the gold to the orphans, the countless misremembered jingles and lyrics that adorn his artwork, the random appearance of celebrities, the whole Baron Munchausen take on a life more richly lived......now he's talking about all the places that have banned him from their premises, the hot-springs, the post office - "...I mean, girls send me naked pictures of themselves all the time, I'm an artist!!!" (he'd made the mistake of opening his mail at the post office), and here he does the craziest impression ever of people telling him that he's been inappropriate, the fire chief on the East Shore, only when most people do impressions of people they change the voice, it's a bit comic and weird and exaggerated, only his voice - nasal, stringy, is suddenly exchanged for a "Normal Voice" - insane, it's like he's channeling every mockery of normal, you can't help but laugh out loud, and he's there, gesturing wildly, throwing his hands back, one mitten on, the other off, layered clothes, toque, hoodie, coat, vest,...the Sorceress, a new theme he's hinting at, the new chapter of his life, a lady, lives off in the woods, might be able to cure his tingling left hand, his drawing hand, it's been useless since the stroke, he's had to use his right, he's not right handed, she might be able to fix it, he's not holding his breath but there will be some new scrolls coming, a new chapter, I'm looking forward...

Meanwhile, this last batch, a Batsh*t original detailing how I should be suing the hot-springs on his behalf, "Lawyer Litn'n Rod", about how I'll sue for $5 million and get a 1.5 million "Out Quart" settlement, in Deutsche Krugerrands, an old Polaroid of a jeep in some sand dunes - a treasure map, drawn on a coaster, gangsta chases and cars, recipes, a map of Nelson that he's dubbed Twerpsville, the stone ground coffee he brings me, did I know he does it himself between rocks in the forest and I believe him, see the coarsely ground coffee, the pine needles poking through the bag...

I dug out an old HD Camera from the locker here, gave it to him with vague instructions, in return I get a long video - as long as the Ferry Ride, from the East Shore to Balfour, from inside the cafeteria, through the rainy window, a cup of coffee poured deliberately in front of the lens...long pause, a thermos is deliberately nudged, slowly, in front of the lens, then lifted up, it's hilarious, he's experimenting, figuring it out, and while this is insane there's great promise...other videos, he's now interviewing people on the Ferry, on the ride in to Nelson, asking inane questions, now he's the one making documentaries..."ha ha I ain't trimmed my toes in haf time 'roun the sun", - a detail from one of his scrolls...

Details: Written by: Rod Boyle; Category: People; Published: 12 November 2017; Hits: 1352

Dido, he's been lurking outside waiting for the pub to open, my age but in better condition, looks better anyways, comes in for a 2 hour cup of coffee to talk about the books he's written, he's writing, all sorts of books on the planets and Greek mythology and on his experiences in the Haida Gwai, and we chat and catch up, another of the local characters, he wants to write a book on how to be a good waiter, picks my brain, I have no input, no regard for the profession, he was a busboy once and got to be pretty good, then he reflects a bit and decides maybe he doesn't want to write the book, not now anyways, too much of a niche market, wanders the pub, we're slow, empty, of course, it's the season, looks out the window, comes back, talks some more, ... he's the bookend for the day, the first customer, there will be a few more, mostly normal, and then it will be my friend Batsh*t with the weekly allotment of a dozen scrolls, this week from Lu-Lu Lombardo to me, photocopies of centerfolds added onto with his writing, addled with his embellishments, a good couple of hours reading for when I get back to the shed...

...and, reading them, I'm laughing, he's setting me up with a friend of his, another connisseur of his work, female, he's drawn on the back of the centerfold so I'll know what she looks like if I run into her naked, "OH...AN COMMAND'R ROD IF .. U NKEEPS UR PEEPERS PEEL'D WEN I SHOP I GOTS KNEE HIGH RED + GREEN STILETTO BOOTS + TITE SHORT BLACK MINE LEATHER SHORTS + MY SUZUKI M-CYCLE HAS LITNIN RODS BOTH SYDES + I GOTZ NORMA-J'S BLACK WIG + ROLLUPS -- CANVAS - DOZENS..." and it continues for some hundreds more words, ending with: "...BUTT 1ST RODS GOT UNUFF CLUES...SO GOT FIND ME" and I'm laughing out loud, is he really hoping that I'll buy that Lu-Lu wrote this? I'm hearing her voice in his head as he's writing this... Is there really a Lu-Lu at all? If there is, based on the sketch and description provided I want to meet her...

Details: Written by: Rod Boyle; Category: People; Published: 08 November 2017; Hits: 1327

And, in addition to the countless references to Java Mocha there are the messages in bottles and the signposts...generally laugh-out-loud and more so when you know who he's talking about...

Chinzy Candy is a reference to the owners of the pub...he's finding they're not so generous as they once were with him...there's quite a few references to Langs (cafe) and the Ass-Hole Gas guy...