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Temu
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Blog
- Hits: 332
And so I downloaded the app and ordered some shit off Temu.
"Better than Amazon" I told myself, and I was right, I mean, the best alternative is always to buy nothing but Temu was second.
Sorry, Tech Bros, I gotta get some distance.
So the thing with Temu is they sell absolutely nothing (or close enough to) that you need. It's all the rubbish/infinite scrolling/bored rampant material/spiritual culture that is the West. They've got it down.
I'm looking for shit that I need. I "need" nothing, but I'm intrigued by a few purchases. Tiny neodymium magnets. Balloons for my balloon animals. Fountain pens because while I have too many I could always have more and these look like "Lamy" overruns. A couple of "fashionable" shirts for the raves. CMY Cubes. Just bullshit, the kind every child of my era ordered out of the back of comic books, "Boney the Skeleton with Glow in the dark Eyes" (disappointing, the skeleton was a plastic poster, the glow in the dark eyes were punch-out glow dots), XRay Glasses, etc. but now tailored for adults.
I wait. I get a 5$ credit if the delivery is late.
The delivery is late, and I have an abundance of emails apologizing and offering my compensation ($5.00 credit), but these are all just attempts to get you back on the app, and I'm filled with buyers remorse already.
I miss the first day's delivery, stepped out for a coffee, the next day resolve to wait by my phone. I turn on the ring feature and stay close to home.
The package arrives. I'd forgotten what I'd ordered, but I check my order, it's all there, exactly as described...
I mean, the magnets (on my fridge awaiting repurposing), the shirts (quality low but what did I expect? I was curious, not deceiving myself), the balloons (balloons, fine, exactly what I ordered but I'll be giving them all away...), the pens (cheap, maybe good, have yet to try, definitely not Lamy overruns)...
It's the CMY cubes, 2, one of which I give to the neighbour. But the cube intrigues me, it's not so low quality, appears to be glass, and after a couple of days I order some more.
You can find treasure in unexpected places.
And I have to admire how they do it, the wheel of fortune, the incessant emails, the “act now” special discounts, the bargains on shit you didn't know you wanted and certainly didn't need, the feeding you of countless variations of what you just looked at on the internet, the “slot machine” styled interface, perfect for scrolling, it only wants bells and whistles every time you put an item in your cart; the “limited supply”; which is bollocks, never the case, a marketing gimmick, but - WOW - they have the internet down pat.
Even as a villain I have to applaud you - done well, done right, I'm gonna get my CMY cubes and delete the app...or not, I may need more balloons...
Warrior, 2011, Tom Hardy
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Film
- Hits: 284
So despite having a dozen or so intelligent movies on my phone I was persuaded by Facebook to download and watch this.
Which, I'm rather ashamed to admit, I rather enjoyed. Think "Rocky" but updated for the MMA world, and with a few "Plot Twists" which are really rather predictable and the only "twist" is that they resolve themselves exactly as you'd expect.
That said, I can't in good conscience recommend it.
A few of the cinematic "sins" I observed - and they were big ones!!!! -
The Russian as the feared opponent (geopolitical)
The American Military showing up to applaud the "War Hero"
The High School cheering on their favourite teacher...
The resolution - red/blue gloved brothers - as perhaps a nod for an increasingly divisive America to unite...(but 2011, and whoever this director was it wasn't Nostradamus).
Anyways, well reviewed, crafted, but complete and utter bollocks, and I'm ashamed to say I enjoyed and now am off to question my life choices...
Emus of the High Arctic
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Blog
- Hits: 278
And so doing a bit of research on the high Arctic, and wondering what all lives up there - I mean, I have some ideas, but wanted certainty...
So I go to google and get the standard AI Summary and really, I mean, it's not too tough...
Yes. Yes, I'm having all sorts of new inspirations, the Emus of the High Arctic...
Which I have to say makes me doubt the rest of it and it looks like I'll need some better sources...
Richard Hakluyt - Voyages and Discoveries
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- Written by: Rod Boyle
- Category: Books
- Hits: 270
They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters;
These see the works of the Lord, and his wonders in the deep.
I loved this. A Penguin "Condensed" version of Richard Hakluyt's "Voyages and Discoveries" - first hand accounts from Seamen and explorers from 890 to 1595 - condensed, because the original was 1.5 Million words, this edition is a mere 150,000 or thereabouts. But - at the time it was published it was a big deal, and brought the wider world to English shores, informing the literate of the wonders that lay beyond the horizon. So popular was it in it's time that it was quoted and referred to by Shakespeare, Ben Johnson, Tennyson amongst others.
There are the descriptions of far away places - the mention of dragons that lay in wait to feed upon elephants (crocodiles, presumably), The travellers tales and exaggerations, the speculations - John Hawkins (Slaver & Privateer) speculating on the wildlife of Florida where they landed - (Lions and Unicorns mostly he thought); the merchant tales of those far off tribes that would trade gold for iron, diamonds for glass, furs for cloth, not having our understanding of what was rare and precious, the descriptions of said peoples, the spice isles, the cannibals, the descriptions of possible resources and trade items, the custom of occasionally "abducting" locals to inform the King/Queen first hand of the customs and peoples of their land...
The accounts of Miles Philips, Mercator, Francis Drake, Magellan, Frobisher, all first hand in letters or summaries of their expedition, there's Sebastian Cabot's excellent "Ordinances for the Intended Voyage to Cathay"; which outline the rules of the expedition, the height of good sense; the customs of the expedition, that seaman are paid unto death or return, in the event of death the payment is to their widows or children, the non-proselytizing nature of the expedition, there would be no discussion of their own religion, they would treat all tribes and peoples with gentlemanly behaviour, etc, etc. Which contrasts greatly with the later expeditions, focused on Piracy and Privateering; the plunder and burning and ransoming and even complaining - for example; Frobisher's complaining of the ferocity of the invaded people who clearly had good reason to dislike Europeans, the account of James Lancaster - trapped on a river wherein the villagers had floated pitch and fireworks to ignite their ships...
Outbreaks of dysentery on board the ships, scurvy, the tropical diseases, mosquitos, or in the arctic the black flies, noseeums, mutiny, men set ashore and never recovered, there's John Candish's final voyage, vile misadventure upon misadventures, the letters from a failed expedition that read like the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, a cargo of 20, 000 salted penguins turned to slithering worms that infested every deck, piece of furniture, bed, biting and feasting upon the dead, infecting the living who swole up with them in their veins;
I could go on, but this is history written by those who were there.
And the coming together towards the end of all the privateers and slave traders together - John Hawkins, Sir Francis Drake, Frobisher, Sir Walter Raleigh, to with a few ships defeat the entire Spanish Armada making it’s way to conquer England; it reads like a Pirates of the Caribbean spinoff...
Anyways, it hardly needs my recommendation. These are the accounts of men who defeated unsurmountable odds in returning from every voyage, and many made more than one.
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