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The Pimplemaker

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Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Dreams

Published: 23 November 2008

Hits: 2526

It's night and I'm in front of one of those imaginary family restaurants in an imaginary high street somewhere in North Edmonton. I miss this area, the windows into the restaurant are plastered with theatre posters, coming carnivals and events, there's an ice cream poster on the door - "The Pimple Maker" - it's a big single scoop of Ice Cream with a large hunk of chocolate on top, the chocolate has been broken open to reveal a sweet candy mass dripping out onto the ice cream.

Then I'm talking to Milan, apologizing for never visiting him, I'm trapped in suburbia - "So far into South Edmonton" I complain "That I might as well be living in Calgary....."

The dream changes. I'm in a long hallway, generic, patterned carpet, lighting like they have in hotels. I've done well, gambling, made a few million, and as I'm leaving the casino a big black guy, casino goon, comes to stop me. He reaches for his gun but I've got the drop on him, I've taken the precaution of arranging for a third arm, a magicians dummy hand and sleeve, to hang down on my right side with it's hand stuffed with paper, thousand dollar notes on the inside and outside to make it look like money. My free hand is inside my jacket, I reach up and aim a large semi-automatic at the thug, he continues to go for his piece and so I shoot him. I keep walking out of the casino, I see another guy who owes me money, he's coming for me as well, I twist his arm and force him to his knees, gun at his temple, "Do it" he's telling me, I don't want to, he owes me money, 30 something, bland face with clear blue eyes looking back at me "Do it!", pushing his head against the muzzle of the gun....

Rod Boyle - Human Random Number Generator

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Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Miscellany

Published: 20 November 2008

Hits: 2990

As rent is a little tight this month I have decided to partner with myself and raise some money through advertising revenue.

Counting on the fact that my website attracts an erudite and scholarly readership, I have to confess that I have a rare, savant-like ability to generate random numbers. This was discovered at an early age, when the 20 sided di rolled down a deep, dark and smoldering vent during a fast-paced and action packed game of Dungeons & Dragons, I became "The Di", generating at will random numbers for my fellow players.

While I no longer play Dungeons & Dragons, this is a skill I have exercised regularly and kept up with. Currently I'm able to generate entirely random numbers in excess of 10, 000 digits, which is no small feat. If you're in doubt, try it.

Hence I have decided to make use of my talent and prostitute my skills over the internet. Banner ads will appear shortly. Meanwhile, these are but a few of the services I will be offering:

1. Random Number Generation - Intigers, fractions, you name it. From $10 per digit. Delivery can be arranged via email, or if the purpose of the number is to be used for top-secret Cyphers or computer programs, via courier or Purolator Express. Please find some sample numbers and rates below.
   
   
   • 2 Digit Random Number - 12 - $20 CAN
   • 18 Digit Random Number with boundaries of -7¹³ to 10⁸ - 77623.0089153326321 - $180 CAN
   • Random Random Number (Will not exceed 100 Digits) - 1 - Fixed Rate $100 CAN
   • Random Numbers in Bases other than 10 - Base 7 Intiger - 6 Digits - 636211 - $60 CAN
   
   **Rates above do not include shipping and handling. No freight charges are applied if sent via email.
   
   
2. Unique Number Generation - Unfortunately, due to the popularity of this service most unique numbers under 12 digits in length have been taken. However, there are an infinite number of Unique numbers above 12 digits in length still available, and to compensate for the non-availability of smaller unique numbers I'm offering a sale: Unique numbers 30 digits and under for only $100 CAN. + Shipping and Handling where applicable. These numbers can be sent to you via email, in WORD (.doc), or .txt format. All Unique numbers are tested against the leading search engines to ensure they are really unique - one of a kind, just like you.
   
   
3. Art Numbers - Having splurged on your own Random or Unique number, why not have me make it into a work of art? For anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars extra I can convert your Unique or Random Number into a contemporary art masterpiece - supported formats - .gif, .png, .jpg, that you can print out on your computer, to "Hard copy" artworks using such mediums as paper, pen, ink, acrylic or oil on canvas or mixed media. In any size you choose.
   

               rodrand(Google -1)"   by Rod Boyle                               "15812 "  by Rod Boyle

TO order your own Random or Unique number, or have a quote prepared on converting your number to a work of art, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. 

Then there's Bell...

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Written by: Rod Boyle

Category: Who's Your ISP?

Published: 20 November 2008

Hits: 2933

An article of note today: Bell, Canada's Other ISP, awaits a decision from the CRTC - quote:

"The regulator will hand down its decision at 9 a.m. ET after twice delaying the ruling. The decision will determine whether Bell Canada has violated the Telecommunications Act by slowing down the internet access it sells to wholesale customers." - From CBC.

Further reading here: www.saveournet.ca.